


coalescence

by Marcia Elena (marciaelena)



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 03:00:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14416239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marciaelena/pseuds/Marcia%20Elena
Summary: Mulder welcomes Alex. Sequel toquintessence





	coalescence

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 1st M/K Wheel, the 'Wheel of Love', March 2004. Thank you to Jennie for the beautiful lyrics. 
> 
> This is AU. Assume all events as they happened in the show up until RatB. It definitely veers off at the end of that episode.

The moon is about to set by the time Krycek reaches the motel, a mass of clouds moving in to hide its thin crescent, eerie dark shapes against the darker sky. The 'vacancy' sign blinks and hums noisily behind him as he pushes the door to their room open, breathing a sigh that is equal parts relief and exhaustion, glad to finally have arrived. He slides the bag he's carrying to the floor, sagging against the closed door and letting his eyes slide shut for a moment. 

_I could fall asleep right here,_ he silently tells himself. His next sigh turns into an exhalation of surprise as he feels the cold muzzle of a gun pressing firmly against his neck. _Or I could die here._ He opens his eyes, only to blink dazedly as light suddenly floods the room.

"Don't move," Mulder greets him. 

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Krycek rasps, not bothering to hide the tension he's feeling. "It's me, Mulder."

Mulder thumbs off the safety. "Prove it."

Krycek laughs, a dizzy, humorless sound. "This proof enough for you?" He asks, unzipping his torn jacket to reveal his once white t-shirt, now stained and torn too. 

The suspicion on Mulder's face falls away at once, and he puts the gun down before pushing Krycek's jacket carefully off of him. "You're bleeding," Mulder informs him as he peels off his shirt, inspecting his shoulder. 

"No shit."

Mulder flicks his eyes disapprovingly at Krycek for a second, his fingers gently probing around the wound. "It's not deep. Looks like a bullet graze." 

"That's what it is," Krycek tells him, flinching away from Mulder's touch. 

Mulder's eyes meet Krycek's again, deep pools of hurt. Krycek flinches away from his gaze as well, pushing past him in the direction of the bathroom, detouring to place his gun under his pillow first. He hears Mulder follow him as far as the doorway, and he keeps his back to Mulder while he kicks off his shoes and strips off his pants.

"Why the hell did you sneak out on me, Alex? We were supposed to do this together," Mulder reminds him, his angry tone colored by worry. Mulder sighs, running a hand over his face, lowering his voice when he speaks again. "What happened? It shouldn't have taken you this long. I was expecting you to be back two days ago."

Krycek shakes his head silently at him for a moment, swallowing past the sudden lump in his throat as he looks at Mulder over his shoulder. He knew that Mulder would be angry for being left behind, but the genuine concern that Mulder's showing for him is confusing, awakening too much hope inside him. He clears his throat, doing his best to ignore the effect that Mulder's having on him. "There were two Consortium thugs waiting for me at the train station in Philly. They tried to corner me after I retrieved our bag from the lockers," he tells Mulder, turning to face him in his socks and underwear, his hand moving to unstrap his prosthesis. "We might have to do with the money and IDs in this stash for a while. If they knew about this one, we have to assume they know about the others too."

"Shit," Mulder mutters under his breath. "Are you sure they didn't follow you here?"

"Yeah, I'm sure, Mulder. No one knows we're here."

"How sure?" Mulder insists.

Krycek pulls impatiently at his arm, the straps chafing against the wound on his shoulder. "I killed them."

It's Mulder's turn to look relieved. "Here, let me help," he says as he steps into the bathroom, reaching for Krycek. 

Krycek takes a step back. "I can do it."

"No shit," Mulder says with a soft chuckle, echoing Krycek's earlier remark. He reaches for Krycek again and removes his fake arm with measured, practiced motions. "There's nothing wrong with letting me take care of you sometimes, you know." He looks at Krycek's bloody shoulder, still holding the arm. "This needs to be cleaned up."

Krycek glares at him.

Mulder smiles and moves back, holding his hands up, trying to appease Krycek. The sight of his prosthesis in Mulder's grip is somewhat incongruous, and Krycek turns away from it and starts the shower running. "Mulder, I don't know what crawled up your ass today, and I'm too exhausted to find out right now," he tells hMulder as he sits on the toilet to take off his socks. "All I want is to shower and go to bed."

Mulder's smile fades, and he looks hurt again. Krycek clenches his teeth and stands up, pushing down his underwear and stepping out of it, pointedly keeping his back to Mulder again as he steps into the shower. Anger bubbles up in him when he hears Mulder retreat, and as with most everything that the man inspires in him, it's irrational and all consuming. Underneath the anger, Krycek's well aware that he's the one putting up a wall between them this time, doing the very thing that stings him the most when he's the one on the receiving end. He's learned to live with it, yeah, but he's a fucking idiot; he shouldn't assume that Mulder would take the same kind of treatment from him. He never has before. 

Krycek shakes, feeling cold under the hot water, pain and exhaustion and disappointment catching up with him. What the hell is he expecting from Mulder? They're partners, maybe more intimate ones lately, but it's just sex. It's nothing more than that, as intense as it is. Mulder doesn't need anything more from him. 

The hurt that flares in Krycek's gut is much worse than the pain in his shoulder, but he clamps it down. He always does. 

_Nothing's changed between us,_ he repeats to himself. _Nothing at all._

But the truth is, things have changed. Mulder doesn't look at Krycek with mistrust anymore. He's stopped asking why. 

_Why._ The little ritual that they used to play, every night for months. And now Krycek's the one asking, even if only in his head. Why, Mulder? Why?

He's startled by Mulder's sudden presence next to him. Without a word Mulder comes to stand under the spray with him, and Krycek pulls back again, as far as the small space will allow. He watches Mulder watching him, his back against the cool tiled wall, trying to gauge Mulder's mood. For once Mulder's eyes are unreadable as they slide over Krycek's body, and Krycek returns the favor, lacking the strength to resist any longer, his breath catching at the beauty of him. When Krycek returns his gaze to Mulder's face he finds Mulder looking at him, a slight smile gracing his lips. 

"Come here," Mulder says hoarsely, pulling Krycek to him and covering his mouth with his. Their bodies collide and stay, and the feel of Mulder naked against him is almost more than Krycek can bear. Mulder grunts as his tongue finds Krycek's, a sound that is half pleasure, half need, and the anger in Krycek starts to melt away.

The kiss ends, both of them panting for breath. Mulder reaches for the soap, working up a lather then proceeding to wash Krycek from head to toe, his hands slippery as they move over him. Mulder hesitates when he reaches his stump, and Krycek feels a lump forming in his throat again. In all the time since they've started this partnership, Mulder's never asked him about the arm, never allowed his touch to linger over it.

_Fuck, I'm tired. I don't know if I can cope with this tonight._

"May I?" Mulder asks gently. All Krycek can do is nod, afraid of how his voice might sound if he speaks. Mulder touches him with infinite care, then, washing him, stroking him, and Krycek knows that Mulder's astounding mind is memorizing each and every imperfection, his fingers reading him like Braille. Krycek wonders what meanings are being revealed to him. 

"Does it hurt?" Mulder asks, his voice curious yet kind.

"Sometimes." Krycek shrugs, not wanting to say too much.

Mulder holds Krycek's gaze with his for a long moment, looking at him with the softest expression Krycek's ever seen him direct at him, as if with one word Krycek's given him the key to himself. And maybe he has. He's Mulder, after all.

Mulder's throat works and his lips part, but he doesn't say anything. Krycek's heart pounds in his chest, squeezing when Mulder lowers his eyes from his and returns his attention to his stump. Krycek closes his eyes and wills himself to relax under Mulder's touch, gasping only slightly when he probes around his shoulder wound again. 

Suddenly Mulder's mouth is on his again, hot, possessive, and Krycek has to reach for him to keep his balance; he groans, burying his fingers in Mulder's hair, holding on tightly to him as Mulder kisses him, deep and slow and sure. Mulder starts mapping every other scar on Krycek's body, his hands moving over him with confidence and care, almost tender. Still kissing him, over and over again, as if he'd collapse without Krycek's breath. Krycek trembles against him, wanting more, wanting less--because as good as it feels, he's also frightened, terrified. Mulder's unraveling him, cracking him open once more, and Krycek's allowing him to.

He feels desire stir inside him despite his fatigue, and he kisses Mulder harder as he pushes them both under the spray again, the water rinsing them, washing them clean, the last dregs of Krycek's anger going down the drain with the suds. He breaks the kiss, dizzy and gasping, looking at Mulder, licking his lips as Mulder lowers his gaze to them. 

"Let's go to bed," he rasps, turning around to shut the water off. The twitch of Mulder's cock against him as he embraces him from behind is all the answer that Krycek needs. 

Mulder wraps him in a towel and guides him out of the bathroom, making him sit down on the bed. "Don't move," he orders, a tentative smile tugging at his lips. 

"I don't need you to mother me," Krycek protests half-heartedly as Mulder places their first aid kit next to him on the bed, rummaging through it. Mulder kneels between Krycek's legs to start treating his wound, and Krycek forces himself to sit still, his one hand gripping the edge of the mattress, the heat of Mulder's body so close to his making him lightheaded, increasing his arousal. His voice sounds rougher than usual when he speaks again. "That's not what I want from you."

"Finally, an admission," Mulder murmurs, and Krycek can tell that Mulder's avoiding his eyes as he keeps his fixed on Krycek's shoulder. "What _do_ you want from me, Alex?" Mulder asks after a charged moment of silence, flicking his gaze at Krycek only long enough to see Krycek looking at him. 

Krycek doesn't answer, his heart in his throat. Mulder purses his lips, no trace of a smile left on his face now. Krycek swallows painfully, looking away as Mulder finishes bandaging his shoulder. When he's done he gets up and goes to check the door, retrieving his gun and turning off the lights, putting the first aid kit away. Krycek remains sitting on the bed, listening as Mulder lays his gun on his nightstand, watching from the corner of his eye as Mulder starts pacing in front of him, the blinking neon outside spilling in through the thin curtains and painting him in garish hues.

"Why did you go without me?" Mulder tries. "You've never ditched me before." Krycek only shakes his head at that, still not looking fully at Mulder, and Mulder lets out a sigh of exasperation, kneeling in front of Krycek again, reaching to cup his chin, making Krycek face him. _"Why?"_

Mulder's question runs a shiver through him, one that he can't suppress. Mulder pulls his hand away, but keeps holding Krycek's gaze, waiting. Krycek's eyes burn, and he lets out a short, nervous laugh. "Not too long ago you wouldn't have been this patient with me," he tells Mulder, lifting his hand to Mulder's shoulder, running his thumb over the small puckered scar there, keeping his voice low in an attempt to take the sting out of his words. 

"I can punch you if that's what will make you talk," Mulder retorts, not without humor. 

Krycek smirks at him, then shakes his head again. "I couldn't-" He clears his throat, swallowing before he starts again. "I can't always protect you when you're out there with me."

"Protect me?" Mulder asks incredulously, and Krycek can hear the anger back in his tone, barely restrained now. "I don't need _you_ to mother me either, Krycek. I think I'm capable of taking care of myself."

"But I'm the one who dragged you into this mess," Krycek fairly shouts at him, his hand tightening around Mulder's shoulder. "I destroyed your life, Mulder, I can't let them take what's left of it from you."

"I can make my own decisions," Mulder tells him, his voice dangerously low, his muscles tensing visibly as he brings his face closer to Krycek's, making Krycek's breath turn shallow.

"All I want is to keep you safe. They were waiting for us this time, you could've-"

"I could've watched your back while you watched mine."

Krycek opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. He knows that Mulder's right, but he can't bring himself to say it. Because he knows he's right, too. 

Mulder's hands settle on Krycek's hips, his fingers lightly tracing Krycek's skin above the towel he's still wearing. "Say it," Mulder whispers, lowering his eyes to Krycek's lips. 

Krycek shivers again, feeling dizzy as he tries to breathe. _What does he want me to say? How much do I want to tell him?_ "I can't lose you," Krycek finally whispers back to him.

"And what makes you think I can lose _you_?" Mulder asks, raising his eyes to Krycek's once more. His voice is hushed, twisting Krycek's insides, making his heart beat too fast. "How safe do you think I'd be without you, Alex?" Then, quieter still, "How _sane_ do you think I'd be?"

Krycek makes a strangled sound, blinking tears out of his eyes. He doesn't know who moves first, but all at once they're kissing, their mouths fused together, and Mulder's ripping the towel off of him, pushing him back onto the bed. Mulder's body is hot against his, Mulder's frantic heartbeat echoing his own, both of them shaking with pent-up need, sparks of electricity jumping between them. Krycek hisses with pleasure as Mulder knees his legs apart and grinds his hips against Krycek's, their erections rubbing together, making him shake harder. 

"Mulder," Krycek gasps against his lips, kissing him again, tangling his fingers in Mulder's hair. Mulder moans into his mouth, and the sound is like liquid fire pouring into him, lapping at his insides. He tugs Mulder's head back, sucking on the throbbing artery in Mulder's throat as he bares his neck to Krycek, and Krycek sinks his teeth into him, flicking his tongue at his skin. 

Mulder shifts against him, reaching for Krycek's hand and pulling it from his hair, holding it down above Krycek's head as he grinds his hips harder against Krycek's. "Don't leave me again," Mulder rasps, pinching Krycek's nipple, Krycek's body arching into his, their fingers lacing together. "Say it, Alex. Please say you'll never leave me." 

Krycek arches his back again, rocking under Mulder, his eyelids heavy as he looks at him. "I'll never leave you," he breathes, his heart beating faster. He wraps one leg around Mulder's thigh to hold him close, circling his hips and thrusting up against Mulder, the friction making him burn, need and feeling stealing his reason, and he wants to scream it loud and clear, _never, forever,_ but his voice is gone too, and all he can do is move with Mulder, his eyes sliding shut, his whole being straining towards him, _Mulder, please, oh please-_

Krycek sobs incoherently as he comes, heat spurting between them, and Mulder bruises his mouth with his, taking what's left of Krycek's breath. "Alex," Mulder sobs with him, releasing his hand, pressing his body hard against Krycek's then breaking their kiss, pulling back. 

Krycek opens his eyes and finds Mulder looking at him, but before he can say anything Mulder trails his fingers through Krycek's cum and brings them to his hole, pressing into him, stretching him, more heat flaring inside him as Mulder rubs his prostate. Krycek lets out a ragged cry, bearing down on Mulder's fingers, trembling with anticipation.

Mulder pulls out of him and uses his cum again to slick his own cock, his eyes locked on Krycek's. He grabs Krycek's hips and pushes into him, hard, forcing him open, pulling back and thrusting in again, harder, going deeper in with his next thrust. Krycek moves with him again, letting Mulder take him, his shoulder throbbing as Mulder fucks him, his heart aching. Mulder pulls Krycek to him as he thrusts, over and over, impaling Krycek with his cock, holding him with his eyes, and too soon he's coming as well, spilling himself into Krycek, moaning wordlessly as he collapses on top of him.

Krycek threads his fingers through Mulder's soft damp hair, fighting the drowsiness he feels, trying to catch his breath. Mulder shivers against him as he slides his hand down Mulder's back; he doesn't stop, tracing each of Mulder's scars the way he'd traced his, licking the sweat off Mulder's shoulder. Their bodies are pressed so close together that Krycek feels Mulder's nipples tightening against his skin.

Mulder raises his head from Krycek's neck and finds his lips with his, kissing him, groaning as he pulls out of him. He settles against Krycek again, rocking slowly, urging Krycek to rock with him. Krycek's body pulses in time with Mulder's heartbeat as Mulder strokes him, imitating him, fingers running over Krycek's scars again, their kisses trying to reach the invisible ones, honey-sweet pleasure flowing between them, thick and languid, until they're both drunk with it.

Tired as he is, the intimacy of this act is not lost on Krycek; in a way, it's a knowing more profound than sex. 

_Lovemaking,_ Krycek's mind whispers, trying the word for the first time. 

"Mulder," he says out loud, his heart accelerating, Mulder's arm tightening around him.

"I know," Mulder murmurs, his face pressed against Krycek's neck again. "I know." With a sigh Mulder rolls off of him, pulling him close again when Krycek rolls to face him. 

"So I'll watch your back while you watch mine?" Krycek whispers after a moment of silence, kissing Mulder. 

"That's right," Mulder tells him, kissing him back, smiling softly. 

"But we'll find time for this too," Krycek goes on, then elaborates. "Face to face."

Mulder's smile widens. "Face to face."

"And we'll save the world."

"Piece of cake," Mulder chuckles, looking at Krycek, his smile slowly fading as Krycek strokes his jaw with his fingers, Mulder's gaze on his turning solemn, hopeful and afraid, mirroring Krycek's heart. "We can do it," he says. "Together."

His voice catches when he speaks, making it impossible to tell if it's a question or an assurance. But Krycek answers him anyway. "Together." 

And he knows they're both right.

**Author's Note:**

> Come go with me - The Del Vikings
> 
> Love, love me darlin'  
> Come and go with me,  
> Please don't send me  
> 'way beyond the sea;  
> I need you, darlin',  
> So come go with me. 
> 
> Come, come, come, come,  
> Come into my heart,  
> Tell me, darlin',  
> We will never part;  
> I need you, darlin',  
> So come go with me. 
> 
> Yes, I need you,  
> Yes, I really need you,  
> Please say you'll never leave me.  
> Well, say, you never,  
> Yes, you really never,  
> You never give me a chance. 
> 
> Come, come, come, come,  
> Come into my heart,  
> Tell me, darlin',  
> We will never part;  
> I need you, darlin',  
> So come go with me.


End file.
